How to be a Trans Ally.

The trans, non-binary and gender-diverse community is under threat, and in response, our support needs to be stronger there ever before

So as you read through these ideas, consider not only what action you will take but how you will overcome the barriers it will take to show up for the trans community.

Allyship is not a self-determined identity, it is a commitment to act.

Avoid assumptions.

You cannot know someone’s gender identity unless they tell you, so avoid assuming someone’s identity just based on what they look like or limited information.

While it’s important you know someone’s pronouns, you do not need to ask anything beyond that. If someone wants you to know more about their gender identity, they will tell you.

Be mindful of confidentiality, disclosure and outing.

Many spaces are not safe to be trans or share trans identities. Make sure you have clear permission before sharing someone’s identity with anyone.

If you a cis-gendered, be careful not to assume someone will be accepting, just because they are accepting of you.

Listen.

Trans people are experts in their own lives. So ensure you create space for trans people to speak and for you to listen. Before you talk to a trans person about gender or something you have seen in the media, ask for their permission.

Remember that every person who is transgender has a unique experience. So you will need to listen to each individual to know their experience and how to support them.

Use gender neutral language.

Notice how many everyday phrases are unnecessarily gendered. Consider what gender-inclusive language you can use to help make trans people feel more accepted in social environments

For example, when addressing a group use “hi friends” of “welcome folks” (rather than “hi guys” or “ladies and gentlemen”) and identify people by clothing (e.g., person in the white shirt) instead of gendered language (e.g., man at the back).

Use Correct Pronouns.

Make sure you use correct pronouns,  when you are speaking to someone or about them. Use they/them until you can ask.

If you are unsure of someone’s pronouns, just ask, e.,g., “Hi I’m Chris, my pronouns are he/him. What are your pronouns?”

If you make a mistake (like we all do), try not to make a big deal or expect someone to tell you that it's OK. Just apologise, correct yourself and move on.

Speak up and advocate for change.

Challenge and call out transphobia, anti-transgender jokes, or hurtful language wherever you see or hear it (even when it comes from friends and family). Seek out other allies who will support you in this effort.

Put your advocacy into action.  For example, attend a rally or if there are no gender-neutral bathrooms available at your work, make it happen.

Lead your own unlearning.

Just because you see yourself as an ally, does not mean you have not grown up learning about the “right way” to be a man or woman. That's why the first step to allyship is often about understanding your biases and beliefs that need to be challenged.

Admit when you don't know something. Don't burden trans people to teach you, but seek out resources written by trans people to help you learn more.

Remember that being an ally is about taking sustained and persistent steps to support the community.

Reading this post is a start. Sharing this and other posts today that support the trans community is a step in the right direction. But consider what else you can do because right now, the community need it more than ever.

Resources.

TransHub - Information for Allies

Minus 18 - How To be a Trans Ally

GLAAD - Tips for Allies of Transgender People

You are not alone. Reach out for support often and early.

Beyond Blue. Mental Health Support. 1300 22 4636.

Lifeline. Crisis Support. 13 11 14.

Rainbow Door. LGBTIQA+ Support. 1800 729 367.